Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The Power of Attraction

If you meet a girl and interact with her long enough for her to form an initial impression of you, and she feels no attraction for you, then THERE’S BASICALLY NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! No amount of kicking, screaming, calling, trying, buying her things, or taking her out will do a damn thing about it.

If you meet a girl and interact with her long enough for her to form an initial impression of you, and she DOES feel attraction for you, then there’s nothing SHE can do about it! And no amount of logic, thinking about it, or peer-pressure can stop it.

In fact, some girls will endure abuse, neglect, and all kinds of other horrible things because they just can’t overcome their own emotion of attraction.

Why do girls feel strong attraction towards some guys… and in many or even most cases these guys are not rich, handsome, or famous? Because they CAN’T HELP IT.

Why do girls feel zero attraction for some guys, even though they have all of the outward appearances of the ideal man? Because they CAN’T HELP IT.

Think about that for a second or two....

A girl feels these things because she can’t help it. She can’t do anything about it. To her, it’s experienced as just HAPPENING. It's not wrong to say that attraction is a mechanism that is stronger than logic, stronger than reason, stronger than a parent’s warning and even stronger than bad experiences.

People will do things that are totally irrational and exactly opposite of what’s good for them when they’re under the influence of Attraction. But the fact is that attraction is neither good nor bad. It just is.

Attraction Is Selfish
Attraction works in very selfish ways. Attraction is not concerned with the feelings of others. Attraction is designed to hijack a human mind and body for its own ends.

Attraction is either on or it’s off. You either feel it or you don’t. If a woman doesn’t feel it for you, she probably never will. And if she does feel it, no amount of reasoning and logic will change how she feels.

Men, Women and Attraction
I can remember throughout my school/college days, I used to believe that being a "nice guy" was the way to make a girl like me. I believed that if you were "nice" and she didn't like you, it was probably just because she didn't think you were handsome enough, rich enough, or whatever.... and that there was nothing you were going to do about it.

I mean, doesn't it make sense that a woman should be attracted to a guy who treats her well, is attentive, is sensitive to her feelings, gives her what she wants, buys her gifts, etc.? Of course it does. It makes LOGICAL sense. But when I really started to pay close attention to what was happening in the REAL WORLD, I started to notice a few things:

1. Women would tend to break up with me, play hard to get, and generally not be happy and satisfied when I treated them "overly nice". Being overly “nice” seemed to be the enemy of attraction.

2. My "nice" friends weren't the ones who were attracting all the girls... it was the other "bad boy" guys that seemed to be getting all the attention from the girls.

As I started to put the pieces of the puzzle together over a few years, I began to realize that:

1. Attraction isn't a process that happens by "choice". In other words, a girl doesn't start talking to a guy and say to herself, "Wow, this guy seems very smart and funny... just the type of guy that I've been looking for... I think I'll feel attracted to him."

2. Attraction happens at an unconscious level as an automatic emotional response to certain things. For guys, attraction usually happens in response to a beautiful face n a nice body. For women, it usually happens for other reasons (although it can n does happen on occasion for physical reasons alone).

3. There are a lot of guys who are average looking, average height, average income, etc. who have above average success with girls.

4. The "nicest" guys aren't usually the ones to whom girls are attracted to...

5. We humans, for the most part, are not in control of our "attraction mechanisms" (or other emotions, for that matter)... in other words, when we are attracted to someone else, it takes control of us n there's almost NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

If you ask most girls what they "want" in a man, they'll say, "Oh, I want a nice, honest, thoughtful guy who cares for me and treat me a like a princess n blah blah..." And the truth is, this IS what most girls "want". But strangely, there's a big difference between what women "want" n what makes a woman feel ATTRACTION.

So the moral here is: If you are in love with a girl, you should STOP trying to make her fall in love with you. Instead, you should do things that can invoke a STRONG sense of ATTRACTION towards you. That's it..!!!

I'll talk about things that create/kill ATTRACTION in the coming posts.

-AG

PS: This excerpt is an edited version from a David De Angelo's book. David is a renowned dating guru himself.

6 comments:

Sumantics said...

My friend had a term to describe those girls who used nice guys for their money and time and then spent weekends with the bad boys in town.

Bastard magnets :D.

Attraction Guru said...

i too have a term for such nice guyz - "ass-kissers" ;)

Anonymous said...

That was quite an article ....
Looks like you have a lot of experience with girls ;]
I agree with you ... such attraction just cannot be changed by logic ... call it the heart overtaking the head in typical movie-style :]
I used to make fun of such people ... until I became a victim :O
A friend of mine .. he's smart but not at all what one would call handsome ... something about him ... maybe his good nature attracted me and I sorta had a crush on him... There was a time when I simply couldn't take it off my head nor react normally when he was near me.
Thankfully, those heart-driven days were short-lived and I became my normal self again.
Looking forward to your next write-up.
~Azy.

Anonymous said...

It was certainly interesting for me to read that article. Thanks for it. I like such themes and anything connected to this matter. I would like to read more soon.

Anonymous said...

It was certainly interesting for me to read this article. Thanx for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to them. BTW, why don't you change design :).

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you ! Once a girl who was very beautiful was attracted me like hell when I was mean and playful with her, but when I was nice to her , she lost the attraction !